The Best of Ambrose Bierce by Ambrose Bierce

Author:Ambrose Bierce [Ambrose, Bierce]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-80-7484-393-8
Publisher: e-artnow Editions
Published: 2013-08-06T16:00:00+00:00

The superstition that maladies can be cured by royal taction is dead, but like many a departed conviction it has left a monument of custom to keep its memory green. The practice of forming a line and shaking the President's hand had no other origin, and when that great dignitary bestows his healing salutation on

strangely visited people,

All swoln and ulcerous, pitiful to the eye,

The mere despair of surgery,

he and his patients are handing along an extinguished torch which once was kindled at the altar-fire of a faith long held by all classes of men. It is a beautiful and edifying "survival"—one which brings the sainted past close home in our "business and bosoms."

KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

KLEPTOMANIAC, n. A rich thief.

KNIGHT, n.

Once a warrior gentle of birth,

Then a person of civic worth,

Now a fellow to move our mirth.

Warrior, person, and fellow—no more:

We must knight our dogs to get any lower.

Brave Knights Kennelers then shall be,

Noble Knights of the Golden Flea,

Knights of the Order of St. Steboy,

Knights of St. Gorge and Sir Knights Jawy.

God speed the day when this knighting fad

Shall go to the dogs and the dogs go mad.

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